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Monday, January 25, 2010

Moses

So I made a Moses statement yesterday. After making it home from church...successfuly administering the Sunday lunch cuisine (PB,&J)....I leaned on the glass pane of our kitchen window, looked out at the rainy, dark day and whispered, "O Lord...please send someone else to do it." As soon as the words left my mouth....I KNEW I sounded just like Moses. So much so....that I was driven to read his story (again). As if God immediately had something to say to me. The dialogue: "O Lord, I have NEVER been eloquent, neither in the past or since you have spoken to your servant. I am SLOW of speach and tongue." THIS is me. In the past, if there was a need for me to communicate, confront, or even encourage....I ALWAYS write. Going into a situation that requires me to clearly communicate....ummm...yeah....I stumble over my words, forget more than half of what I'm to say, things I've memorized....flee in an instance. Ugh. SO frustrating. I annoy myself in those situations and get terribly discouraged. OH...and one more thing....terrible test anxiety! The worst! God's response, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." It just reminded me that God gives us not only our "giftings"....but also our "limitations". And, He doesn't always match up your "calling" with what you are necessarily good at. This brings up a MILLION other questions.....but I'm also aware that I don't need all the answers. God will teach me along the way. It was AFTER God's response that Moses made his "choose someone else" comment. And it was after that comment that "the Lord's anger burned against Moses". I felt like the Lord had re-gifted me with the opportunity to react in a more trusting way. By asking God to "choose someone else"...I was leaning more on my own understanding. I was not giving God the opportunity to do something amazing, and miraculous through my life (which was ironic since it was precisely what I was attempting to feebly communicate to the kids in our worship time that morning!) Moses was so persistant in his insecurity that God did give him Aaron to speak for him. But...one can only imagine what may have resulted had Moses simply said..."I'm in Lord...speak through me...its the only way!" Perhaps God's people would've been freed the first time Moses asked....instead of repeatedly refusing. Only God knows the "what ifs". Anyway....I know all this stuff in my head. But I love when God brings it home to my heart.

8 comments:

Lois said...

I love what you wrote. You are so very clear. I just now got to read what you'd written back when you were changing out the kids clothes. I am so grateful for you in our lives, and that my grandsons have you for a mom. You have a wonderful heart towards the Lord, and a teachable, sensitive one. That is what matters and is so very important. Back when John died, the Lord used that same passage about Moses to speak to me. It really is about "Trust And Obey", as the old hymn puts it.
Love You, Mom

Michele said...

this is such a good reminder. Moses' story was key during the time Tim and I were praying about moving up here in the first place. This didn't show up on my reader list - glad i caught it via Facebook :)

Kristine said...

I'm loving your insight. Keep blogging! :) It was my reminder....How can God use us if we don't give Him the opportunity.

lizconrow said...

So great and so timely. I was kinda' feeling the same thing last night. I didn't make the whole Moses connection but I couldn't sleep last night as I pondered a conversation I may or may not be having with someone that I really don't know that I want to have! Anyhow, I'm the same way. I can play out conversations in my head until I'm blue in the face (and they sound so eloquent in my mind!)but the moment I have to actually share those thoughts with the intended person, it all comes out wrong and jumbled. right there with you. Thanks for reminding methat sometimes, God wants US for a reason. Though he could send someone else, he is choosing us... Lord, just don't let it be too often! ;-)

Rebecca said...

Good one. I love how you process stuff it's so beautiful and honest. That and your search for more of Him. It's a good reminder. I'm not always that quick on things. It's sometimes days before I realize those "Moses Moments". Thanks for sharing, keep blogging. You rock girl!

Cynthia said...

Corrie, I just LOVE your blog - finally realized if I signed up, I wouldn't miss any - wonder if I will ever catch up to the computer generation! Anyway, your writings always bless me. Moses reminded me so much of all those feelings I had with Micah, knowing he was my last made so many things so different. And now I am watching his kids grow up even faster! And now here I am, being totally blessed by our "little Corrie's" writings - thank you so much for sharing with us!

Courtney @ splashing grace said...

Corrie, great words! (btw, I've never thought you had a problem with communicating verbally... but I do remember notes on my pillow a long time ago)

LadyTravelar said...

Oooohhh....you're talking about the, "Clean up your side of the room or else...." notes....hahaha!!You were the big sister I always wanted....:-)

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