Moses

So I made a Moses statement yesterday. After making it home from church...successfuly administering the Sunday lunch cuisine (PB,&J)....I leaned on the glass pane of our kitchen window, looked out at the rainy, dark day and whispered, "O Lord...please send someone else to do it." As soon as the words left my mouth....I KNEW I sounded just like Moses. So much so....that I was driven to read his story (again). As if God immediately had something to say to me. The dialogue: "O Lord, I have NEVER been eloquent, neither in the past or since you have spoken to your servant. I am SLOW of speach and tongue." THIS is me. In the past, if there was a need for me to communicate, confront, or even encourage....I ALWAYS write. Going into a situation that requires me to clearly communicate....ummm...yeah....I stumble over my words, forget more than half of what I'm to say, things I've memorized....flee in an instance. Ugh. SO frustrating. I annoy myself in those situations and get terribly discouraged. OH...and one more thing....terrible test anxiety! The worst! God's response, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." It just reminded me that God gives us not only our "giftings"....but also our "limitations". And, He doesn't always match up your "calling" with what you are necessarily good at. This brings up a MILLION other questions.....but I'm also aware that I don't need all the answers. God will teach me along the way. It was AFTER God's response that Moses made his "choose someone else" comment. And it was after that comment that "the Lord's anger burned against Moses". I felt like the Lord had re-gifted me with the opportunity to react in a more trusting way. By asking God to "choose someone else"...I was leaning more on my own understanding. I was not giving God the opportunity to do something amazing, and miraculous through my life (which was ironic since it was precisely what I was attempting to feebly communicate to the kids in our worship time that morning!) Moses was so persistant in his insecurity that God did give him Aaron to speak for him. But...one can only imagine what may have resulted had Moses simply said..."I'm in Lord...speak through me...its the only way!" Perhaps God's people would've been freed the first time Moses asked....instead of repeatedly refusing. Only God knows the "what ifs". Anyway....I know all this stuff in my head. But I love when God brings it home to my heart.